Whoa! I hate to complain (not really) but I have had a terrible week. On Tuesday night, I was thinking about exercise week and realized that my mild, yet consistent, work-out regimen over the past few months may have strengthened my immune system. About 7 1/2 seconds after I finished remarking to my husband that this is the first winter in a long time that I have not gotten sick, I became queasy. Queasy led to nausea which led to — I will spare you the details. The dreaded stomach flu tore through the house in a matter of hours but, while everyone else has made a full recovery, it has taken its toll on me. I guess an hour of yoga and 1/2 hour on the elliptical has not made me invincible. Surprising to me, is that I have been on the couch for a few days with bread and water, and I do not miss my wine. I do, however, miss my yoga. Go figure. All you crazy exercise people were right after all. If you’ve been doing the same old thing for years and are looking for something new, try …
1. Pole dancing is a new craze in exercise. You can’t make this stuff up. Well, the talented writers of porn can probably make it up, but I am serious. I have mixed feelings about this particular type of exercise because I have very strong feelings about strippers. Not Charlie Sheen type feelings. Mine are purely maternal. I have three daughters and I can’t help but think that these girls have an incarcerated mother who can’t possibly be proud. These girls once played with dolls, skipped to school and wrote their names with little hearts above the “I” in Candi. I have to wonder what happened between majoring in basket weaving and doing their first lap dance. I will admit that, at least in the movies, they look pretty fit. I’m not sure if it is the crack addiction or the pole dancing, but they don’t seem to suffer from any weight problems.
2. The Wii – Dance, Dance Revolution claims you can burn more than 200 calories in 1/2 hour. It is difficult to support the accuracy of this claim as it depends on your size, your skill and your song. I will attest that I was sweating after partaking in a 2am DDR challenge recently. You will probably feel stupid doing it on your own, but if you have kids, turn off iCarly and get them involved. Without doubt, it is a better work-out than sitting on your …
3. Kickboxing – I know I’ve referenced the movie Say Anything in the past, but even at the risk of looking like a Lloyd Dobler groupie, I have to include the following: “I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. And, I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything bought, sold or processed … or, repair anything sold, bought or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that … so, what I’ve been doing lately is kickboxing. Which is a new sport, but I think its got a good future … I don’t know, I can’t figure it all out tonight, sir. I’m just going to hang with your daughter.” Maybe I am a groupie but Lloyd was definitely on to something. Kickboxing came out of the 80s strong, people love it and you can burn almost 600 calories in an hour. This is definitely outside my comfort zone. I am debilitatingly non-confrontational. I think I have to try it. I’ll let you know.
4. Spin – The name may make you dizzy but the work-out must be pretty intense and satisfying. People I know are getting up at the crack of dawn to take a spin class, are traveling to new “spin” openings, and are generally wild about their cycles. This is not your mother’s stationary bike. Spin can burn about 700 calories. (As an aside, if you are looking for a quick weight-loss strategy, 12 hours of the stomach flu can double that.)
5. Bar Method – Based around a ballet bar, this is the hardest workout I’ve ever done, but oddly, it is a lot of fun. Think Rocky takes Jane Fonda on a date to Swan Lake. Or, just imagine an intense workout that targets everyone’s problem areas. You will shake like a bowl of jello but it gets results. Check out Molly Mulholland’s comment from Monday’s entry.
There. Now you have something new to try. I am not sure if you will like it, but in general, anytime I mention pole-dancing and a bar in the same paragraph, I make somebody happy. Good grief! I am all the way at the bottom of my rant and I haven’t even mentioned St. Patrick’s Day – now you know I am not feeling well. I hope you were feeling very lucky and green-in-a-good-way today.